nightmares & inner demons There's this group that I deal with about 4 to 5 times a year throughout the course of my job that gives me nightmares. They come in with a bad attitude, expecting something to go wrong, and not willing to let it go. I could try to lie right now and say that I don't take these things personally, but I do. I'm the type of person that cares what most people think of him. I can't help it. It's just the way I've always been. These people have the ability to make me feel awful about myself and my abilities. Now, I haven't had to see them in months, but just the other night I had a nightmare about them coming in, and just last night I couldn't sleep for hours because I kept thinking about the way they talk to me and make me feel when I have to see them. I have a friend who tells me that everyone is responsible for their own feelings, i.e. they don't make me feel bad, I make myself feel bad. Knowing and accepting that as truth doesn't necessarily help. In fact, what does that say about me? If I know that it's my own fault I feel bad and yet I still feel bad, that makes me feel even worse. It's time for a change. I can't deal with these people again and I've got only 2 months before I have to. Time flies when you're sitting still. Summer is half done. Gonna hit the Chi this weekend.

End.  ¶ 10:20 AM